Sunday, March 28, 2010

My Winter Update

Wow, it has truly been forever since I have touched this blog! I'm ashamed to have abandoned it for so long, but I have been extremely busy with work! (And I really can't complain about working too much, because I LOVE my job!)

Over the past few months I STILL get people stopping me and asking me if I was on True Life. And every time I don't expect it at all. People have really surprised me when saying they 'cried during my episode' or just 'really felt for me and understood exactly where I am coming from.' I really can't express enough how much it means to me that I have hit a chord with so many viewers. That really was my honest goal in being a part of the show. It wasn't for my 15 minutes of fame, or to get people to recognize me on the street. I really just wanted people to learn about my battles with my breast size and for girls with similar emotions to realize that their "problem" is felt by so many. You aren't alone ladies! And it's becoming very apparent to me that more and more women are "opening up" to the fact that it's ok to have small breasts and NOT like them. And for some, wanting to make a change, to feel better and more secure about themselves, is normal too!

I have been asked this numerous times by friends, family, and viewers of my episode, "Are you still getting them done?" And the answer is: YES I still, very much so, want to get my breast implants. And I YES, I am still saving up for the surgery. It may not be the greatest thing to admit, but I have credit that definitely reflects my miss-use (to say the least) of my credit card, within the end of my teen years. So, getting a credit company to sign for a finance plan for my surgery is nearly impossible. Therefore, I need to save up the cash myself before I can even schedule my appointment. So, bottom line: I am still getting my breasts done, just don't know when...

I wanted to leave you off with a great piece of news! I recently received a call from an MTV producer! She asked me if I would like to be a part of True Life's Follow-Up Show! After doing a short interview over the phone, I told her that I would love to be a part of the follow-up and to keep me posted with details as the project progresses. SO, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get the call saying I am in the show! I guess only time will tell! Wish me luck!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Just a quick blog...

I have a few quick things to say...

First of all, today I got a friend request from a girl on Facebook. Along with her request, she wrote: "I saw you on MTV and you made me want to continue my career in dance and try gogo dancing. Regardless of my small boobs. I'll try out for dallas cowboy cheerleaders!"
That made me so happy that I could impact her life in a positive way! Honestly, me going on TV with a message of me not be content with my body and wanting to find change, was not meant to force people to feel the same way. I continue to meet people who do feel the same way I do, and even people who have felt that way in the past, but have either come to terms with their body's or have made change for them to become content! The fact that this girl is happy in her body and is ready to face the world with a "I don't care what you think, because I'm happy" attitude is so great and I am truly happy for her. And kind of envious too. I really wish I could feel that way!

That's all for now... :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Such a nice surprise

Last Saturday I was dancing at Blue Martini in Bally's in Atlantic City. It was a loooong night. I danced 30 minute sets from 1am to 6am! When I was getting down from my 4th set, a girl came up to Kera and I and asked if we could take a picture with her man friend. This is very normal! We get that a lot, and I think it's only because we are hardly wearing anything and they want documentation of it so when they tell their friends, they have proof. :) About 2 seconds later I felt a tap on my shoulder, and immediately I thought it was someone else asking for a picture (once one person asks, it seems like the whole club wants a picture too! haha) This beautiful, young woman came close to me and and asked me if I was MTV. I told her I was. She went on to say, "I was so emotional watching your show, because I feel exactly what you feel. I watched your episode about 3 times and every time I missed the ending. I have small boobs too, and I am scared to get surgery. Are you getting surgery?" So I told her that YES I am getting it! And she looked concerned. "Aren't you scared? It's going to be so painful." I said, "Yes, it will be painful, and I am prepared for that, but I am SO desperate that I will do ANYTHING at this point. About 5 months ago, I wanted nothing to do with surgery because it scared the shit outa me, but now i am ready!" She was astonished. I can understand why, I mean if she didn't see the end of my episode it makes sense. The entire show up until the last 10 minutes, I was COMPLETELY against implants. And that must have confused the hell out of her. haha. Before I excused myself to go to the dressing room, I said to her, "I made my decision and it took a lot of time, thought and soul searching. YOU need to do what is right for YOU! I will not tell you to 'get implants' because you may not have gotten to the point I am. Everyone is different. Good luck!" She almost cried.

I walked to the dressing room thinking, WOW, I actually influenced women that much!? That is such an amazing feeling. For all you women out there who related to my story, I will give you the same piece of advice. Do what works for you. Don't let other peoples' decisions sway you. It is YOUR body and YOUR choice of what you want to do with it. Good luck to everyone who is in my position or a similar one. I really hope things work out for all of you!

I am in the midst of making an appointment for a consultation with a different plastic surgeon. I decided that I want more opinions from professionals. I really loved Dr. Pollard, but I just want to be sure that there isn't another doctor out there who will be a better fit for me. Because I feel that I deserve the BEST!

Until next time... peace, love and happiness! :)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Feedback

I am sooo happy that I have received so many nice emails and comments about the show!  Surprisingly, I haven't gotten any "hater mail" and everyone is SO nice in what they write to me!  

For the most part, everyone is saying that I am fine the way I am, but if getting implants will make me happier, then do it.  That is exactly the point!!!  It's my life, my body, and my decision.  I am really glad that people see that.

Aside from these comments, I have also received a lot of advice from women who went through the same thing as I am, and women asking me for advice on how to handle it!  

All around, I am most happy to hear that people are proud of me that I have taken what A LOT of women think, and made it public.  Some people, mostly guys, just don't understand that having small boobs is a really hard thing to cope with.  It's not always about having the perfect body, most of the time, it's really about feeling feminine!  

Thank you to everyone who has written to me!  And most of all, thank you for your support!  It means so much to me!  And it makes me realize even more, that I did a really great thing, by being on the show, and sharing my story with the world!

Monday, May 4, 2009

The First Update!

I would like to start by saying that I have never felt so accomplished in my life.  Being on True Life: I Don't Like My Small Breasts was an amazing experience.  It changed the way I look at life, and I think I have changed for the better!

Filming the show was a lot of work.  It was a shit load of hours or constantly being on camera, and it got a little annoying, having to repeat things.  But I really don't have a lot to complain about.  Overall it was really fun!  And I am sure the shooters loved when I burped... haha because I was miced-up and every sound that came from my mouth was blaring in her ears.  Oopsy.  Sorry about that!

A lot of things happened that didn't make it to the show.  In the early days of filming, I took a trip to a crazy store called Harry's Occult Store.  My friend, Jes, and I went there to try to get some more herbs to help my boobs grow.  Well... O man, this place was crazy.  There was a guy who was a psychic, and he told the future by listening to spirits.  And then there was a woman who gave me only one real piece of advice... to read three affirmations to myself 10 times each, every night before I went to sleep.  She said (an really believed) that if I kept telling myself that my boobs would grow, that they would... well... grow!  ummm yea... TRIED THAT, and look what good that did me. o well

Even though there were some crazy things that happened during the filming, I really enjoyed all of it!  My main goal, aside from wanting to express my need for bigger breasts, was to reach women who can relate to my story.  Since the show first aired, I received so many emails from girls who have the same exact story as me, and they were really touched by the show.  That really means the world to me.  There are so many people in the world, with body image issues, and I think it's important for everyone to know that it really is an emotional inner struggle, that haunts you ALL THE TIME.  Not liking something about your body, is not a small thing, it really is tough.  And it's a lot to take in, and consider.  

Personally, I am extremely happy with my decision to get implants, and I know that this is not an option that everyone would choose.  In the show, I decided to get the surgery in the second to last scene.  In "real" time, the show filming took about 4 months, and it wasn't until the middle of the 3rd month that I came to the decision.  I was SOO against plastic surgery my whole life, and it is amazing how I reached that point where I felt it was the only REAL option I had.  All in all, every one's personal story is a little different, and I am not saying that getting implants is the "right" thing to do.  It was just the best thing for ME!

I was a little upset that MTV didn't allude to the name of my company.  It is Pure Bliss Entertainment.  You can see our page at  We don't only provide go-go dancers to nightclubs, we also have a wide variety of models and performers, and we even have choreographed performances for large events!  If you are interested in booking out beautiful girls and sexy guys, email us your event details to

OK guys, I have a lot of work to do.  I am happy to start this blog, so I can update everyone all at once!  Feel free to comment or email me any personal comments or questions!